Too good, too bad- CDR's arrogant mistake

I love when professional athletes speak. They do that little thing where they blend all of their vowels and consonants together to make noises and grunts not heard since the Mezezoa era. Right after a halftime interiew, you find yourself asking "I'm sorry. What was that?" Athletes could care less if the entire world is listening. They'll rant and rave and cuss and proceed to make themselves look like some overpriced and uneducated celebrity who'll have nothing to do at age 40 but count his riches. Oh wait...

My most recent and favorite athlete remark was more of a disgruntled sentiment aimed towards my hometown Detroit Pistons by potential draft selection and former Memphis star Chris Douglas-Roberts. Detroit was among the teams with first-round picks that Douglas-Roberts, as well as a couple other notable second-round picks, (Mario Chalmers being one of them) elected to not work out for. They felt that given their performance in college, both would be snatched up by some swooning NBA team executive quicker than Dumars could say "Zeljko Rebraca."

Whoops.

Fast forward through a few hours of Stuart Scott's lazy eye, countless cut-scenes of crying mothers, and 31 David Stern handshakes. The Pistons are on the clock. Both Chalmers and CDR are still available, but all of Motown's front office could care less. Detroit had no plans on ever selecting either of them. I respect very much Dumar's willingness to pass on potential talent and instead select a player with character. It takes quite the...oh...lets say "self image" on CDR's part to deny a teams' request to workout. Detroit is his hometown! It should be his dream to take to the Palace floor. Apparently, he was so confident of his abilities that practicing would be a waste of his time. In the famous words of Allen Iverson, "Practice?" I say good job, Joe. How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours. Let him drop down to 40 and out of a guaranteed 1st round salary. I hope he has fun in New Jersey being Devin Harris and Vince Carters' bitch during practice. Had he been a bit more humble, he could have been sharing time with Stuckey and Tayshaun and challenging for a title in Detroit. I wish all professional athletes could understand that they are just that- professional athletes- and that they are not on some higher moral or ethical level than the season ticket holder that ultimately pay their salary.

Professional athletes are to public relations as "The Caveman Show" was to television- some things, sadly, just don't fit. And hey, just an FYI, I was offered a job to write for ESPN's Page 2 column. But I'm not going to send them any of my sample writing.

After all, like Douglas-Roberts, I know I can do better.

Pistons draft "sleeper"

I am at a loss for words. It’s like I took a few too many “What the fuck Just Happened” strength Gas-X and my seemingly ever present verbal diaria has just stopped cold in its tracks. I have nothing to say about tonight’s debacle. And yet, here I banter.

We had the opportunity to go David Copperfield on Stern’s ass tonight. We’d let Joe Dumars reach into his top-hat and pull out a hidden gem, that 29th pick extravaganza! Let him yank it out, dust it off, and display it proudly to the rest of the NBA as if to say “Bet you didn’t see that coming!” I was hoping and waiting to be plesantly surprised. Instead, I am plesantly sick to my stomach. The stars were all lined up for us. I was already on the Pistons website and had pre-ordered my # 7 Chris Douglas-Roberts jersey. Instead, I now have to settle for Walter Sharpe, a 6′9 misfit out of Alabama Birmingham who played 12 games last year before being declared academically ineligible for the spring semester. Lets see.. High Basketball IQ, check.

The kid has narcolepsy. I’m typically a very forgiving person, but I mean…c’mon. That’s really not good for a professional athlete. I can just imagine it being 4th quarter crunchtime and in stumbles Walter Sharpe, still wearing his pj’s from his 3rd quarter snooze on the bench. Bill Walton would be courtside next to Mason screaming into his ESPN headset- “Refs, make the 3 second call! That kid’s camping out in the lane!” And Jeff Van Gundy would add, “Ya, he…really is…pitched his tent right down there in the key, got his bear and blanket, and is reallll deep into his rem cycle, Bill. Let’s hope the ref’s don’t wake him” At least the Pistons marketing team will have fun making Walter Sharpe nightlights and onesies pajamas for the little tyke’s. Narcolepsy? Geezzz..Let’s see…Offensive and defensive awareness, check.

Dumars is the real culprit here. I understand trading down to 32 where they they hoped CDR would still be available. In essence, they would pick up a free pick- draft DJ White for the Sonics and get their real prospect plus a 2nd rounder for the price of one! And hey, it worked! At 32, there CDR was, eagerly waiting for his name to be read off. And instead, we picked Walter Sharpe aka Goodnight Moon aka Sleeping Beauty. I am so dissapointed. Our picks weren’t even on anyone’s draft board. Did you see the way that little munchkin sudo-commisoner stumbled with our picks’ name? He read his little notecard, peeked back into the war room, and whispered “Are you sure?” Oh yes, the Sonics smirked. They…erk…..Dumars was sure. Solid front office management, check.

This night in review was arguably worse than the Darko debacle. I could care less about passing up on top franchise potential players in Melo, Wade, and CBosh. Let the history go. At the time, Dumars was making an educated decision based on all of the talent available. But tonight, tonight was a different story. Let the 2008 NBA draft forever be known as the “Thursday Night Massacre in Motown.” I see all these teams doing things to improve their chances to capture another title next year. Milwaulke gets RJ. Toronto deals for Jermaine O’Neil. The Portland Trailblazers bust their load as they ponder acquiring every single NBA prospect to ever exist via trade. And Detroit, we take the sleeping bandit.

High Basketball IQ. Offensive and defensive awareness. Solid front office management. They all get big bold check marks from Joe D. But from a fan’s point of view?

Ughh. Let’s see here…

We’ve got another waisted season. Check. We’ve got a lack of a potent post presence, yup, that’s a check. We’ve got fan’s starting to lose hope in the organization that brought us sweet sweet redemption in 04. Check. Maybe Bill Davidson needs to start checking some things off his list too.

Like finding a new president of basketball operations.